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Hi Everyone, I'm just gearing up now for the show. I have my chilled fizz hitting the glass as we speak, and 'setting up shop' for our evening of marathon entertaiment. If you'd like to join in then login to the site to leave comments on this post.
I will be refreshing this post as often as I can during the show - between each act at least. For a full review of all the entries see my previous sensible and sober post. This one will be a stream of consciousness free for all on the live performances we have tonight. The costumes, the use of fake musicians, the wind machines (and apparently the UK have THREE!) and the vote garnering tactics are all open for abuse.
The Voice on the Sofa (VotS) is here too, so there may well be comments from him as well.
First up we'll be commenting on the general set up, the hosts, the opening ceremony... Join us in a little over 10 minutes...
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Welcome to Graham for his second year of commentating. We're going to be looking at spheres of moments, oh how twee. Are there many Eurovision babies? Doesn't the new ski slope in Oslo look amazing! Webcams across Europe, and then straight into last year's winner (who's slightly flat) and the auto lyrics on the BBC's red button is wrong!
3 hosts! We're long used to two. We have a lass in a red dress, a chap in black tie and a lass in in milky coffee coloured creation. And Eric has represented his country in junior world fly fishing. Graham is a font of information.
The hairpeice has been dwarfed by the afro. A quick look at the new voting system, it's open from the first song - which means if you're not fussy you can place your vote and go to bed!
Here we go....
1. Azerbaijan - Safura Drip Drop
This lass is only 17 years old. This song is the bookies favourite. The track is a rumba. Blue dress and strong lighting. There seems to be fingers missing on her gloves. Short mini dress with long back. To be honest Beyonce's choreographer hasnt't had to do much. The singer is slightly flat. We've got 3 backing singers, herself and 1 male backing dancer. Oh and a wind machine. It's a shame as the original choreography was very good on the video.
Disappointed by the amount of screen I am losing to the lyrics this year under the red button. Feel like I'm missing something.
We have posh 'postcard' graphics for our links and stage prep time...
2. Spain - Daniel Diges Algo Pequeninto
I like this song, and I like the english lyrics. 4 backing dancers and an appearing chap makes our six. Ah, number 6 wasn't an offical edition. Now I'm guessing the backing singer is official. Ohhh! Fireworks. the dancers are linked to the type of waltz (v. waltz is associated with the circus).
3. Norway - Didrik My Heart is Yours
Big power ballad time now. Oh, he started flat can he recover? (VotS has said the lyrics are nicely specific - behind a mountain somewhere). It was a brave gambit to start on his own with no backing track, but in this case it failed. He's horribly off and it's slowly getting worse. Does this remind anyone else of something like 'My heart will go on' from the Titanic? Finally! On key for the last bit. Good lad, finding your voice but it would have been better starting in key!
4. Moldova - Sunstroke Project & Olia Tira Run Away
Blue electric fiddler possibly faking it on that turnable, but well done for not throwing up doing that. Somebody on the mixing desk is doing a terrible job as everyone sounds slightly flat so far. I really didn't need the sax player to do *that* while he was faking. What is she wearing? Tinfoil dress and electric blue. The makeup is a nod to Bladerunner.
Maybe the mixing desk are trying to prove it's live by making everyone flat.
5. Cyprus - Jon Lilygreen Life looks better in the Spring
He's on key and that's a big thing so far. Not sure what the gaffa tape on the guitar is for. This could score well in the voting from the UK as we vote for our own representing another country. Nice to see the whole band on stage (instead of a singer and 5 backing dancers).
6. Bosnia & Herzegovina - Vukasin Braji Thunder & Lightning
A reality show 'star' which makes it drop in my ratings before we even start. Again at least they've managed to sing in tune or fix the mixing desk. The wires from his feedback loops look like spec keepers but he's forgotten his glasses. 5 backing dancers/singers in short grey skirts. the lass on the left can only sing if she has a knee bent. Dull staging with over use of dry ice. Oh, key change.
What was with the dog?!
7. Belgium - Tom Dice Me and My Guitar
(The stadium is 80,000 - that's some crowd! and 130million TV viewers). One lad, One guitar. We'll see this again with a lass a bit later on. This is a pleasant enough ditty but I'm not sure it's a winner. Bits of this are a rumba but it's not consistent enough.
8. Serbia - Milan Stankovi Ovo Je Balkan
Graham isn't being very witty yet.
Shame they haven't gone with their original lots of costume changes as that at least would be interesting.The revolving stages with plastic tubes are quite surreal. Great nonsensical English lyrics though!
Oh! Spain will perform again as they were disrupted (hardly) by a stage intruder.
9. Belarus - 3+2 Featuring Robert Wells Butterflies
Look for that note, it's there somewhere! Had he actually *heard* the song before he started then. Gold dress, silver dress, bronze dress. I'd have any of them. Sucker for a sequin me. The sun opening up is not a good thing. maybe that hadn't been explained to them. WINGS! HOW COOL!?! And very slickly done. Got a cheer here, and definitely gets the 'gimmick' vote so far.
So who's out there with me tonight? I'm feeling a bit lonely at the moment.
10. Ireland - Niamh Kavanagh It's for You
I like this song. She did win previously and Ireland have won in Oslo. Oh, that frock does nothing her. She's on note though after a week of voice problems. Appearing 4 backing singers. And the dry ice. Great rumba. There is a wind machine, but there's also a lot of hairspray.
No-one has ever won wearing purple though, even if it is the first standing ovation.
11. Greece - Giorgos Alkaios & Friends OPA
You don't get much camper than this do you. Blinding white outfits. Another one great for nonsensical English lyrics. I bet their not 'burning' all their old money ;-) the lyric "I've paid my dues" caused much mirth to this audience. Given the current situation everyone does kind of have to 'start all over again'. oooh, exploding drums. A bit health and safety and not appearing butterfly wings on the gimmick front. Wonder if it gets 12 points from Cyprus.
12. The United Kingdom - Josh That sounds good to me
Just 19 years old. boxes with lights. and a very Stock Atkin and Waterman sound. Why are the men wearing corsets? One of the backing singers in the wrong job. The harmonies are HORRIFIC. Oh it's not corsets it's just weird shirts. In rehersals the women were in colours which looked so much better than the white and black theme. And start the wind machine.
He did ok for most of it. the women RUINED it.
Live? really? recorded yesterday. And we get this and Europe get an ad break!
13. Georgia - Sophia Shine
Men in white open jackets. woman in red. Red dressed singer. Are they helping her walk?! Did you spot the merengue lean and the hollywood drop? She's off key (I'm not fussy, but if we are representing your country you should be able to hit a note reliably, and for the record I can't sing).
Maybe if they would let her stand still for 30 seconds she could concentrate on the singing. I'm guessing the two lasses in white are backing singers. His head appearing over her shoulder was a bit psycotic! oh, flames!
14. Turkey - maNga We could be the Same
These are a well known band in most of Europe, so could do very well. he's wearing a jacobean coat. I wasn't expecting that! We have a suit of dancing armour! With L.E.D.'s that's up there with the butterfly wings. And how RoboCop is anglegriding her OWN ARM! This is great. the robot woman with lights becomes the Stig and then she becomes a club dancer. Has it got anything to do with the song? No.
15. Albania - Juliana Pasha It's all about you
Mad violinist hair! She's got 80's shoulder peices though and that whole outfit is a bit mad. More mad violinist! And we have 60's backing singers. Just which decade are we going for here? Great merengue though. And she's mostly on note which is a big plus in this competition so far.
We're over halfway there by the way guys. Are you enjoying it so far? I feel it's a lot tamer than previous years, it's lacking the usual madness somehow.
16. Iceland - Hera Bjork Je Ne Sais Quoi
5 backing singers and a lass not afraid of a plate of chips. Her dress is a lot less horrible than the one in the official video. Using the light of the set to good effect. She's got a great cleavage. Mostly on note (which makes me think she is in tune and the mixing desk is off) and the backing singers are doing their job properly.
The dresses are a horrible colour though - the same colour as my mum's carpet actuallly. It works on the front room floor!
17.Ukraine - Alyosha Sweet People
This is all a bit grim reaper. The hood just helps with the whole morbid thing. Que wind machine. She is on note (beautifully) though. We lose the reaper hood to reveal a net dress rag. She must be cold in that breeze. Very surreal outfit. Points for being able to sing. Lose points for the song.
18. France - Jessy Matador Allez Olla Ole
Another great one for another set of insensible lyrics but the first one we've had with it's OWN DANCE! Can't see it being done in the stands of the world cup though (other than the bum wiggling bit maybe). Very high energy performance.
19. Romania - Paula & Ovl Playing with Fire
cute red lights picking up the notes being played. More on key than their original video. The duel piano had to make an apperance though and I was hoping she wouldn't go with the leather catsuit. But they are obviously of the opinion 'if it ain't broke...'. Given Azerbaijan I'm inclined to agree with them. Wind machine!
20. Russia - Peter Naltich and Friends Lost and Forgotten
It's a sway at the back with your lighters out. And now it's snowing?! I appreciate that this is written in a minor key for dramatic emphasis, but still. it's all just a bit (to use Graham's word) maudlin for me. It's a real slit your wrists song - with a wind machine.
21. Armenia - Eva Rivas Apricot Stone
That's a good bra! We have some drama being played out behind her. A thought it was a great dress, it's not it's a great corset top with tails and a pair of white jeans. There's a bloody great mock up of an apricot stone on stage. That's a bit literal. Singer has a great hair! The random dancer in the background is just great. I'm waiting for a tree to appear from the faux stone - and look at that, here it comes! Such a literal translation of the song. this is what I'm talking about (and it's a great salsa). Fireworks and everything.
22. Germany - Lena Satallite
A cute performance. Lipstick a bit too dark. 4 backing singers. however the whole is lacking something. I actually agree with Graham that it's very Lily Allen - which I missed when I was doing the original write ups.
23. Portugal - Filipa Azevedo Ha Dias Assim
Another 18 year old (London based). Cream cascading dress, and despite a dodgy start she's got back on track. wind machine starts up and the strands that were chandilers for Germany now touch the stage creating a very bright string curtain!
24. Israel - Harram Milim
another one that is really depressing in English. It's another pretty tune but the words in Hebrew (?) are depressing and in English nonsensical. Bad key change.
25. Denmark - Chanee & N'evergreen A moment like This
He's still an 80's rock god, she's still brunette and gorgeous. And a 'blind date' screen. First couple to use the slidy aspects of the stage. They are mostly managing to be on tune as well. Does this remind anybody else of something else? I love the fact he's about 7ft taller than her. Modulation and Wind Machine! yeah! and all we need now is a magic trick and we're sorted.
mam likes this for a winner!
so that's all 25. Who's your favourite to win? can't wait for the interval act... and the phones are ringing off the hook.
Well done ERIC! That was hard work to do live.
so our first interval is taken up with the summary videos. Then we have a 'met the performers' video. Very dull. Now we're back stage in the green room, for a quick reminder with the summary videos. Again. for those with no memories having killed off their brain cells with alcohol. It's hardly RiverDance is it?
Every year someone gets engaged at a Eurovision party and is mentioned at this point. Which means there has to be more than one. It's ain't me just in case you were wondering.
ah, it must now be time for the interval act? We have a flash mob. Subtle security, a bit over enthusiastic there. A pre-recorded, pre-learnt routine. It's impressive but it's not really a class act. it's become very obvious that this is sponsored by T Mobile, who are responsible for *that* advert in Liverpool street station.
We've had the traditional change of dress. She's stayed with the brown's and swept her hair back. We LIKE Eric. he's fun.
we're into the vote (and another dress change). It's all been verified and legal and stuff. so here we go, how political will it be? very. There's 39 of these.
nothing for UK from Romania. Denmark got the 12.
ireland up next. 4 points from Dublin. Denmark got the 12
Germany - nothing for UK, and Belgium get the 12.
Serbia - nothing for UK, and gosh, Bosnia get the 12.
Albania - 1 point for UK, Greece get the 12.
I'm impressed with how well Greece are doing. Impressed and horrified.
Turkey - nothing for UK, Azerbaijan get the 12 (the bookies favourite)
Croatia - nothing and 12 point to Turkey.
Poland - nothing and 12 to Denmark.
Bosnia & Herztegovina - nothing and 12 Serbia. what a surprise!
Finland - nothing, 12 to Germany
Slovenia - nothing, 12 to Denmark
Estonia (what is he wearing?) - nothing, 12 to Germany.
Russia - nothing and 12 Armenia.
Portugal - nothing and 12 to spain, gosh!
Germany in the lead, followed closely by Denmark
Azerbaijan - 2 points to UK, 12 to Turkey.
Greece - nothing, 12 to Cyprus. gosh what a surprise.
Iceland - nothing, 12 to Denmark
Denmark - nothing, 12 to Germany! not Norway. that's a bit of shock.
France - nothing, 12 to ??? - Turkey.
Spain - nothing and 12 to Germany.
I agree with the text that just scrolled saying we shouldn't have 'faffed' with our song and added backing singers. We're in a commerical break, and half way through the vote. Germany have a fair lead at the moment.
Slovakia - nothing and 12 to Germany. I think Lena is running away with this.
Bulgaria - nothing and 12 to .... Azerbaijan.
Ukraine - nothing and 12 to Azerbaijan!
Lativa - nothing and 12 to Germany.
Malta - nothing and 12 to Azerbaijan.
Norway - nothing, 12 points Germany.
Cyprus - nothing, 12 points Greece.
Lithuania - nothing. 12 to Georgia.
That's it, Germany have won and can't be caught.
Belarus - nothing. 12 to Russia.
Switzerland - nothing. 12 to Germany.
Belgium - nothing. 12 to Greece (that was a surprise!)
UK - well we can't vote for us, 12 to Greece. (!)
Netherlands - nothing, 12 Armenia.
Israel - nothing and 12 to Armenia.
F.Y.R Macedonia - nothing. 12 to Albania.
Moldova - nothing. 12 to Romania.
Georgia - 3 to UK! 12 to Belarus.
that makes us bottom. Cheering in our front room. A last place for the second time in 3 years. and we get automatic entry due to the money we pay in.
Sweden - nothing, 12 to Germany.
Armenia - nothing. 12 to Georgia.
Germany have won. The favourite at the start of the week. Fair do's. Well see you next year. Bed time for me.
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